A Reimagined Self

Like snapshots of old, I am in
clouds of white, yet I cannot see
past the black and crimson.

There is little gray.

They envelope me as you once did; as
your love would cover me, not unlike a
child with its favorite blanket.

“But I am no longer a child,” I admonish myself
as our memories abound.

Am I still sound?
Your timorous voice resounds, spilling me around, my life unraveled.
I’m reminded-often– of how you gutted me, whole.
Was it systematic, or did its magic possess you over time?

“We were granted enough of it.”
Am I still not around? For I cannot be found.
These clouds enhance me, filling me with their rage and grief; longing
and regret, fluctuating fore and aft. They consume this
existence that I’d like to call life.
Black, white, gray hovers– what can I discover?
You’re like my soul, yours and ours entwined; my one desire.
You left me in this cruel world, on this cold tile, bleeding.
You won’t return.

A light knock breaks the monotony.
It’s the day nurse, come to take
vitals.
Ms. Jackie says they’re fine.

“But I’m not fine.” The jagged re-realization throws
this consciousness back, further and further. An
invisible blur descending these empty, pristine walkways, resting
at a sign identifying the place
I’ve called home
for eight long years: Pilgrim Psychiatric Center.

Our memories stay there..

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5 thoughts on “A Reimagined Self

  1. Michelle, thank you very much!! You are one of the awesome people that encouraged me to write more poetry, and I thank you.

    You should check out Sam link above. There are some talents writers there, and it would be a way to get your work out there more. You can also share excerpts from short stories, essays, whatever you’d like. It’s something to consider, at least.:) I hope to see you there.

  2. Tosha, these three words coming from the poet that I admire the most (you’re second to Sylvia Plath in my mind,) truly means the WORLD to me.:) Thank you!! There’s more to come.

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