*Full disclosure: I wrote this during #NoPornNovember with every intention of publishing it as part of that movement. But as time passed and I thought more about what I had to say, and then juxtaposed it on a personal level with pornography and how normalized it’s become in everyday society, I’m ashamed to admit it, but I allowed how others might perceive me to hold off; to second-guess my intentions and deeply personal convictions. I’m anxious just thinking about making what I wrote a public invitation, possibly to vitriol. But I’ll remain silent no longer. I refuse to do so any longer, because keeping quiet is–in my mind, at least– tantamount to being a closet supporter of pornography. I’m encouraged by Billie Eilish, Terry Crews and many other big name celebrities who have repeatedly and adamantly spoken out against the harmful effects of pornography.*
I hate pornography and literally EVERYTHING the adult film industry stands for, assuming they stand for anything at all. It disgusts and sickens me ad nauseam
It’s vile and repugnant. Just thinking back on the person I used to be (prior to meeting my wife and accepting Jesus as my savior, in 2009 and 2011, respectively,) is almost enough to physically make me ill. If it was possible, I’d gladly obliterate all memories of consuming and eventually becoming addicted to pornography, as if they never happened; as if I’d never become curious enough to view porn initially. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I didn’t always feel this shame, guilt, and regret.
But I can’t. That’s something I’m still learning to live with.
And I get it. Hate is a very strong word, an incredibly powerful word. So is loathe, disgust and repulse, and yet in this case, those adjectives are 100% accurate to how I feel about porn. It significantly changed my life, how I viewed women, the world, even myself. As Brain, Heart, World showed again and again, viewing pornography significantly alters how a person thinks and behaves. It changes your personal values, your personality, even your beliefs.
I can practically hear the skeptics now, particularly because I used to be one: “It’s just sex. They’re consenting adults.” But are they really? Consent can be an awfully tricky thing. Ask yourself this: is it still consent if adult “performers” are threatened not to be paid for that day’s work, or other means of impacting their livelihood? Or surviving this everyday rat race otherwise known as life? The truth is, the consumer only sees what the producers want you to see. There are no behind-the-scenes bonuses, nor are there insights into the emotions and motivations of the “performers.”
It’s not simply sex, and that isn’t opinion. That’s fact based on forty years of research, conducted across the world by some of the most revered and well-known scientists. That’s right, actual SCIENTISTS dedicated to analyzing the impact pornography has on the individual, personal relationships, and the world. Its harmful effects have been proven to manifest internally as well as externally.
Pornography is insidious. There’s absolutely nothing good, positive or healthy about it. The industry shouldn’t even be legal, in my opinion. Furthermore, its reaches are far deeper than most people probably realize, or wish to admit to themselves. Watching this phenomenal docuseries (cleverly divided into three parts, with an approximate total running time of an hour and a half,) achieved three primary things: in equal parts, it deeply saddened and fascinated me; it was extremely educational to the point of being eye-opening; and perhaps most importantly, <i>Brain, Heart, World</i> further emphasized that I’m not alone, and that there is HOPE, STRENGTH and FORGIVENESS to be found. There is power in numbers.
There are allies (please consider me one of them.) There are friendships to be fostered. There is solace to be found. There are helpful resources out there. If you need help, it’s readily available.
The highest possible recommendation!