Meandering musings..

courtesy of Bing search

“The only regrets in life are the paths not taken.”

I ran a Google search of said quote, convinced that it had to be something I’d heard or read before (possibly something similar but worded differently,) but nothing came up. The quote abruptly made itself known in my head, as these things often do, and I felt it was ideal for this blog post.

***

I woke up with a lot of my mind. I felt somewhat anxious, a little overwhelmed, but excited for what the future holds for my family and I. I was listening to the debut episode of the Dead Headspace podcast (a review I’ll have up relatively soon,) and I believe it was the host who said that when you think about it, we are now living in the easiest time in history, and we have more freedoms than we’ve ever had, and it’s true. Do your research, look into history and how hard things used to be. Think about the technological advancements available to us now that they didn’t have then; that hadn’t been invented, let alone considered. The Internet, for example, and the ability to literally talk and get to know anyone, anywhere in the world, regardless of various time zones, political climate, the list goes on and on.

Well, that got my mind rolling, and I realized (not for the first time,) that there are so many things I want to experience, experiment with, and succeed in doing. When I think hard about the things I want the most, aside from my writing dreams, I think the one I want to do the most is go back to school. I’ve wanted this for the longest time (roughly five, six years.) Incidentally, Green River Community College is literally up the street from where we’ve lived since August, 2021, so it’s like: why the hell not, right? What’s stopping me? Why aren’t you looking into it now, in the present moment, instead of writing this blog post? With so much that the school has to offer, and the plethora of interests that I have (majoring in English, courses in film study, photography, classic literature, world history, world religion, philosophy, political science, web design, art history and well, minoring in Art in general, to name a few,) I think fear of the unknown scares me the most. And the thought that I might not have what it takes to keep up with my studies, while simultaneously pursuing writing of my own, quality time with my family, and not getting too bogged down in unneeded details. What if people laugh at me and my admittedly strange ideas, of which there are a lot? What if professors dislike me, for whatever reason? What if I’m judged for faith or, worse yet, what if I become ashamed to share my faith?

I do need change, though, and college would certainly fit that need. I’m so tired to living the same, predictable life. I’m not living, I’m merely existing. I want to get out, the experience everything the Good Lord has to offer. I want to meet new people and connect with other writers, bloggers, artists. Doing so, though, most likely would require the COVID vaccine, and frankly, I have my reservations. I don’t trust it. The fact that our government and celebrities (obviously not all celebrities,) continually harp on receiving it. And look, I get it. You’re better off with the vaccine than without it. But it should be a personal choice. Government shouldn’t coerce hardworking Americans into getting it, just to keep their jobs. That I definitely do oppose. Now, I don’t know if Washington state colleges are requiring staff and students to have the vaccine to attend school or teach, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that is the case. Or if it eventually goes that way.

In a similar vein, I miss going to restaurants, coffee shops and diners. I miss public libraries. Honestly, my wife and I have only gone out to dinner maybe five times since March, 2020. We mostly get groceries delivered and rarely visit with family. So, needless to say, I’m weary of staying home all day, every day (minus taking our son to and from school and picking up prescriptions,) primarily out of fear. I cannot live this way much longer. I want to feel free to chase my dreams and not be afraid to step outside, you know? And yes, I fully realize vaccines aren’t 100%, but I think we should do what we can to protect ourselves and our loved ones, while actually LIVING. I want to feel more free to do things. This is the greatest time to be alive, after all.

Thank you for listening.

2 thoughts on “Meandering musings..

  1. I applaud your Dreams and support your intent to fulfill them. Think also of what joy and example to your family as you pursue your Dreams and Ideals!
    Nowadays it’s become very easy for so many to become discouraged, to give up our Dreams and Purpose, to succumb to Despair.

    Just remember the extensive wait Joseph endured, and what a Blessing he eventually became, what a submitted vessel.

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